…she will look for a sunny place to plant it after doing excessive online research. Once planted in organic material, she will track its growth almost daily and be giddy with excitement when the seedlings begin to emerge from the mound. Then she will look out the window one sunny afternoon to see her eldest “taking a leak” on the prospective melon site. When confronted the boy will casually explain that the spot he has carefully selected is the same spot where he and his 2 brothers (and “a-hem”… Dad) urinate frequently so they don’t have to go inside and use an actual toilet.
Then the “cantaloupe” will become a gigantic “urine bush” producing berries that I would be tempted to consume had I not seen that 1980s movie of two youngsters marooned on a tropical island.
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