There are many reasons to dislike midwest winters…freezing temperatures, brushing off snow-covered cars, slipping on ice with groceries in hand. What also tops my list is snowpant farts. I see the 3 of them through my rear-view mirror, lined up in age succession in the second row of the SUV (10, 8, 5) – innocent and unassuming, staring straight ahead. Even when the scent reveals itself, nobody flinches. Thank goodness the smell is still manageable, still child-like. My glance in the mirror does not reveal the guilty party. The aroma should be gone quickly, but it lingers in the snow pants – like a sulfur dutch oven. Even if the windows aren’t frozen shut, the air is too cold to be fresh. When the scent dissipates and becomes more manageable, the reprieve is short-lived. One of the others will join the game, still straight-faced and unassuming. It’s a snow pant fart party and I wasn’t invited.
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